4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize