$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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