What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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