this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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