dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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