Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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