i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
