It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
