i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it hurts more in the daytime
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
