This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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