Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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