Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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