Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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