i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
