I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
