this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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