I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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