She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think i scared a bird with my dick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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