Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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