i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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