Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
