you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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