just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
