mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
