Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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