Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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