don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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