he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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