obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
