she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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