i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
