remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
