you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
