I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
a search helicopter?!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
