He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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