is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
