My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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