Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
