Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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