im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
