"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
