can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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