An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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