i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
