I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
