Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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