I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
