I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
