Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
