Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
