margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
