As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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