I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
