i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
