if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
