I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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