Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
