the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize