He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
