Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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