Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
