After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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