Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize