I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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