Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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