I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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